I have been very lucky in my life so far that death hasn’t been a major thing. My grandma was the first person close to me to pass away, she was in her eighties and died on Christmas day 1999.I was 19. I was upset but it was expected. I flew to Mexico the day after her funeral to teach English. I was supposed to be there for 6 months. My grandad then died in May 2000. I flew back home as I felt it was important to be with my family and to have closure at his funeral. My other grandad passed away whilst I was at University in Manchester. My dad called me just as I had sat down for a lecture. I left the lecture and cried all of the way home on the bus.
I have been interested in the afterlife/spirits since I was a little girl. When I was about twelve I read a book about a famous medium, Doris Stokes, and since then I have always been curious. When I was 25 I went to see my first medium. She knew things about my family that she couldn’t have possibly done. This was pre-Facebook where really no one knew you! I was fascinated. My grandad came through bringing memories of my dad when he was a little boy. I started attending monthly psychic events watching how different mediums work, whether the messages they gave were accurate. I needed more proof and evidence that there was something after we die. After attending for several years and receiving various messages myself I was confident that we don’t just turn to dust and that’s it. Your soul moves on. Where it goes I have no idea. But what I have learnt is that your loved ones are with you and watching you at times when you most need them. When you are at your darkest hour and feel there is no one there. There is. It’s just that physically they can’t reach out and gave you a hug. They are with you, trying to help you.
I met Lisa back in 2005. She was living with my husband at the time. They worked together and she had confided in him that she was in an abusive relationship, wanted to leave and needed somewhere to live, but she didn’t have much money. My husband had a spare room and offered it to her. They became friends. She worked hard to get some money together to afford her own place. At one point she was working 6 days a week, combining her full time job and one day a week on reception at a local hotel.
We became really good friends. My husband helped her to find her own house. We helped her move. Then when it was our turn to move she came to help us. We would see her at least once a week. She was single and in her forties. We set her up on match.com and she met a guy called Dave. Lisa had had breast cancer around 10 years ago and recovered from it. Shortly before she met Dave she had learnt that the cancer had come back. She was obviously upset. They dated and he proposed to her after about a year. Lisa had never been married before and was so excited. She had been having chemo and had decided to shave her hair off. She got a wig sorted and was going to wear it to the wedding. There was only 6 of us, plus my 18mo, at a hotel in Brixham. The day was lovely, she was so happy. She had been worried that she wouldn’t actually make her wedding.
In 2016 she found out that the cancer was not only in her breast, but it had spread to her liver and lungs. She had several rounds of chemo but the tumours kept growing. The very last time I spoke to her she told me that she loved me. I didn’t say it back, which I regret. A week later she died, on my birthday. I’m sure it was so that I never forget her.
For various reasons I couldn’t go to her funeral. Her husband said I could watch the funeral online if we wanted. I never even knew you could do this! My parents came down to look after the kids. I sat in the bedroom watching the funeral on my laptop. It was surreal. I sobbed and sobbed whilst they played her favourite music and read things out which described her to a tee.
Dealing with her death hit me really hard. I couldn’t stop crying and sunk into a real low. I’d never felt pain so raw. The children would ask me why I was crying and I explained to them that Aunty Lisa had passed away and we wouldn’t see her again. The children helped as it was a distraction through the day. But in those moments when they were asleep it would wash over me again and the realisation that I wouldn’t see her again/ talk to her would hit. I allowed myself to feel the emotions even though it was so painful. If I didn’t it would have made me ill.
Bottling up emotions can cause such problems physically and emotionally later. I tried to express how I felt and when I couldn’t verbalise it to others, I wrote it down, I needed an outlet. I love crystals and bought myself apache tears which I would carry with me every day. It is a stone that is said to help overcome grief It sounds odd but it did bring me great comfort. I realised that I really needed to take care of myself during this stage in my life. I gave myself Reiki nearly every day. I tried to meditate, eat as well as I could and really be kind to myself. My belief that she was in a better place also helped. A medium friend of mine contacted to say she had heard from Lisa and she was OK.
At my lowest I went to the doctor. Talking to the doctor she said you’re not depressed, but if you need to talk to someone you can refer yourself to a counsellor. I called them and got a telephone consultation. I was entitled to three free sessions. For whatever reason I chose not to go through with it. My friends really helped me through this. I was as honest as I could be with them. They listened and didn’t judge. Day by day it got easier. But it really made me think about my own life. Was I getting what I wanted out of it? What was I doing? Was I living it to the full?
I have made some life changes since then. One of which was to re-establish my company NRG Healing. I have thrown everything into it. You could say it has been a distraction. Grief is overwhelming and so, so, so hard to go through. Ultimately there are two certainties in life, birth and death. We have to roll with the grief, feel it and experience it, for us to grow stronger and to move forward in our lives with whatever it is we need to. How we deal with it is our personal journey. I feel lucky to have had such good friends to support me through this, and to have had some tools to help me, namely Reiki, crystals and an awareness of an afterlife. However there is also support out there in the way of counselling, be honest about your feelings and tell the doctor, your friends and family how you are.
It is one year today that Lisa passed away. I still miss her and always will, but I also feel very lucky that she was a part of my life for those years and the memories will always be there.
On Saturday I had no plans for the Sunday. Whilst browsing FB I noticed that a lady was giving away a ticket for an all day event in Leeds. I had no idea what it was but asked if I could have the ticket. All it said was that it was to see Richard McCann at iCan Live! I got a phone call from my friend about an hour later. She was ringing me to say that she was going to see him for the fourth time and taking her mum. I still had no idea who he was so she filled me in a bit and just told me that he was amazing and very inspirational.I didn’t even get a chance to google him before Sunday as I had my parents here. I drove to Leeds on the Sunday morning with no expectations at all except to have a great time. I arrived just in time.
I don’t want to spoil his story but he had a shitty start to his life basically. He looked for the opportunities in everything that he did to turn his life around. He is an inspirational speaker who has travelled the world. He has a beautiful family and is encouraging his kids to be empowered, which I loved. He included some videos of them saying things like I Love Me, which was super cute, as his daughter must have been about two. We need to encourage our children and ourselves to say this. It’s really hard at first but the more we tell ourselves and our children tell themselves the more we attract love into our lives.
Its about saying yes and grabbing those opportunities that present themselves to us on a daily basis. The only thing stopping us from doing it is fear, and really what do we have to be afraid of? That someone will laugh at us? That we make a fool of ourselves? Who cares, at least we have tried and given it a go.
One lady bravely stood up in front of 400 people and sang a song about pigeons! Some people who were afraid to talk in public were getting up on the stage to speak.
He talked about positivity and how important it is. When we choose to be negative we operate at a lower vibration and that attracts people to us who may not be good for us, it can bring darkness into your life. When we choose positivity it can only bring better things into our life.
We did some goal setting with a chap called Craig Wilkinson. Again his story isn’t all rainbows and sparkly lights but he’s doing a great job helping other people to set and achieve their goals in specific parts of their lives.
He talked about visualisation and the importance of vision boards, the Law of Attraction. All of these tools are within our reach.
If you get the chance to see either Richard McCann or Craig Wilkinson I would highly recommend it. It was an amazing and inspiring way to spend my Sunday and I am extremely grateful to the lady who gifted me a ticket 🙂
Behind the Scenes
I thought I would share with you a mini snippet of a week in the life of NRG Healing. It always sounds easy when you think I’ll start a business. I have a product and I want to sell it. If you have people who want to buy it, great stuff! That’s half the battle.
I started NRG Healing originally back in 2008 when I left my job in retail management. I was going to have loads of Reiki clients and be busy all the time. This didn’t happen. I used lots of free advertising, back then social media was nowhere near the size it is now. I taught several Reiki students, attended pamper evenings and organised a few myself too. Then I got pregnant. I soon decided that I was going to be a full time mum instead. Several years later I had my daughter and it is only now that she is nearly three that I have decided to give NRG Healing another chance. My website was designed and built over several months. It then took several meetings and lots of emails being sent to have my logo designed, which I love. I have been to various networking meetings over the last 7 or 8 months and met LOTS of people. Back in 2008 I used to shyly say that I was a Reiki teacher and sort of mumble my way along trying to describe who I was and what I did. Now I am a lot more confident in saying who I am and what I do. It takes practice and it takes time.
This is what a week in the life of NRG Healing sometimes looks like.
Monday- My children are with their dad so I start the day with a large mug of decaf coffee and do 3 angel cards for the week. I’ve been doing these for 9 years now so trust in them and their messages. I also pick 1 or 2 crystals for the week. I have found that they generally resonate with the cards. I post these on IG, have a quick tidy up then sit down to write, respond to emails, make up salt bags, make necklaces, whatever needs doing.
Tuesday- I meet up with my ex to take my daughter to parent and toddler group. She has been going since she was a baby and loves it! We then do a handover at lunchtime so I have Tuesday afternoon free to shop and catch up on any more work or emails.
Wednesday- My first school run of the week, which takes a bit of getting used to again. My son wants to play outside at 7:30 am. He’s nearly six and still in his pjs, and it’s been raining. We get dressed. Whilst my son and I are brushing our teeth my daughter decides to turn the lock on my son’s door and locks herself in his room. She can’t unlock it. Panic strikes. I call 999 and apologise for ringing them but my daughter has locked herself in a room. The lady is very calm and kind. The fire engine is on its way. My nearly 6 year old is very excited! Whilst I’m not. They come and use a door wrench thing to open the door, without breaking it, phew! My daughter has been happily sitting on my son’s bed but gets a bit of a fright when all of a sudden there are three firemen at the door. A friend pops by to take my son to school whilst I take my daughter. They are currently at two different schools which are about 15 mins walk away from each other and they both start at 8.45 so one of them is always late on a Wednesday or Friday.
I then head to my weekly networking meeting. It’s fairly informal with breakfast and coffee. We talk about PR, York business week and hanging Xmas baubles in unusual places. Pick up both kids from school at lunchtime and head home for an afternoon playing outside.
Thursday- School run again. We drop my son off then me and my daughter have the morning together. We sometimes go it alone and sometimes meet friends. Today we head to the local park where we sip babycinos and cappuccinos, then we take it in turns on the zip wire, which I love! Before heading back again to collect my son then head home. Make lunch, play and update Social Media in between
Friday- Drop both kids off at different schools then work again. Write some blog content, answer emails then back to do two pick ups, lunch, play and more Social Media.
Saturdays are days for me and the kids to do something fun before I drop them off with their dad for a few days. I try to do minimal work on Saturdays.
Sunday- This is either spent at a fair or creating content for my website and blog. I am also currently doing a PR course online so I try to catch up with the materials from that.
This year I have learnt that you have to learn a lot of skills to be able to manage and market your business effectively. I have taught myself the basics in Facebook, twitter, Instagram and about to delve into LinkedIn. I plan for 2018 to start doing video content which will be great. I would love to hear from you about what a week for you looks like in terms of home, business and family.
I have been using Angel cards since 2010. I had heard about them from a medium that I had been to see and went out and bought a pack. I started using them on a daily basis. What struck me most was how some days I would get the same card two or three days in a row. I would shuffle the cards and choose one. Just to check I would sometimes put the card back in and reshuffle them, the same one would come out.
I have used the traditional tarot card too. I do like using these but I found when going through a particularly tough time I didn’t always want to hear what they were saying. I went back to my angel cards. Every Monday morning for the last few years I have been picking 3 cards for my week and crystals for the week.
I thought I would share them here for the first time. I have been posting them on Instagram for a short while. I’d love to know if you use angel cards or tarot cards and what your thoughts are.
Goddess of the Earth, this is a good time to use your imagination and express yourself creatively. Relax, spend some time in nature and absorb her healing energies.
You’re a Leader, you have natural qualities that will inspire others to help.Crystals this week
Tigers Eye, a great crystal for business ventures 🙂
Malachite, I describe this as a sledgehammer for your higher heart chakra. It allows issues to be released gently.
Let me know what crystals or cards you have for this week as I’d love to know 🙂
Parabens are a family of synthetic preservatives that are often found in deodorants as well. Phthalates are another class of chemicals that are often used in deodorants and antiperspirants that you may want to avoid. Triclosan is another common ingredient included in commercial deodorants. It is used as the odour killing part of antiperspirants for its anti-bacterial properties.
I first discovered Himalayan salt deodorant balls earlier this year. For years I have used various anti perspirants that are sold in the shops, sprays to make you smell nice etc. Last year I started thinking, a lot, about what I was putting on my body externally. I have made various changes and one of which was looking for a natural deodorant. I did find a spray one which worked very well, however it irked me that the packaging couldn’t be recycled. One night I was ordering some of my Himalayan salt lamps and saw the deodorant balls so thought I’ll give those a try!
If you’re switching from a ‘normal’ deodorant to a Himalayan salt deodorant I would give yourself about a month for your body to get used to it. Underneath your armpits are your lymph nodes ( check) The lymph nodes are responsible for your body getting rid of toxins. When the toxins can’t be released they stay in the body and end up going round and round your body. Deodorants, can stop your lymph nodes from doing their job, which can’t be great for your body.
You might find that your body starts to detox again, which is why I think you need to perservere with them.
I have been using mine since March. To use them you run them under water and then use it as a roll on. If I want to add a smell I splash some peppermint essential oil on afterwards which gives me a zing, especially in the morning. It hasn’t changed that much in size, although a small bit has cracked off. I keep it by the sink on top of a small organza bag. You can keep it on a small wooden tray. Or something where it isn’t sitting in water, as it will start to dissolve.
The deodorant bar leaves no sticky or greasy residue and it will not stain your clothing or clog your pores. It should always be applied wet to clean skin. As it dries it leaves an invisible layer of protection helping to naturally prevent odour-causing bacteria from forming on the skin. Does not need to be in a covered container. Be careful, may shatter if dropped.
Are you planning to move house in the coming months? If so there’s something you need to know. If you are moving into a beautiful old 19th century house, think about how many people have lived in that house since the 1800’s. 10? 20? More? Now think of all the dramas that have happened in the house, births/marriages/deaths/relationship breakdowns. All the arguments that may have happened. Potentially someone has committed suicide in the house.
I am currently moving into a new property. Alongside gradually moving my belongings in one of the first things I did was take my smudge stick and smudge my house. It sounds strange but it is so easy to do and will definitely benefit you in your new house!
Your new house contains all of these energies, good and bad. In order to help move any stuck energy in the house there are various tools that you can use to do this.
Native Americans used to ‘smudge’ their rooms to help clear negative energy. If there is a lot of negative energy in a house it can make you feel tired, heavy, you might find yourself arguing a lot with your family for no reason or just not feeling yourself but wondering why. Smudging basically consists of lighting some dried herbs that have been gathered and collected together in a stick. This includes sage and possibly lavender.
Smudge sticks are readily available online or you can make your own. So you have your smudge stick in your new house what’s next?
Get your smudge stick, a lighter and a bowl. The bowl is to collect any fallen herbs. Stand at your front door and light one end of your smudge stick. Blow the flame out so your stick turns to embers and smokes. Hold it over the bowl to collect any bits.
As you walk through your new home waft the smoke into the corners asking for good energies to stay and any bad energies to go. . Gently wave the smoke into your air, focusing especially on the corners of each room, as they’re said to accumulate the most stagnant energy. The entire time, envision the smoke clearing negative energy, waving the smudge bundle up and down as the smoke fills the area. Make sure you smudge all the rooms in your house including cupboard spaces.
When you have finished the whole house take the ashes outside and scatter them on the ground. This is a great exercise to do when you are moving into a new home to clear the energies.
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.
The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words – Rei which means “God’s Wisdom or the Higher Power” and Ki which is “life force energy”. So Reiki is actually “spiritually guided life force energy.”
I was first introduced to Reiki back in 2002. I was studying as an International Business student in Hong Kong. A friend of mine had been on a Reiki course and really wanted someone to practice on. I had no idea what Reiki was but agreed to be a guinea pig. All I remember feeling was this intense heat from his hands. It was weird and amazing.
Fast forward six years through university and I decided in 2008 to go for a Reiki treatment. I had separated from a boyfriend and just felt that I needed something, not a massage or a physical treatment but something else. I went for a treatment and left, quite frankly disappointed. I hadn’t felt anything so was sure it hadn’t worked. Unfortunately in today’s society if we don’t feel an immediate result we think it hasn’t worked. It was only because I kept a journal at the time that I was able to look back on it, reflect and realised that the Reiki treatment had actually helped me emotionally to move forward after my break up.
I was then invited to learn Reiki level 1. This is where you learn it for yourself, friends and family. I wanted to know more so went along. Even on the Reiki course I felt a bit of a fraud as I was placing my hands in positions and not feeling anything. When I received the attunement I did feel something but couldn’t explain it.
I practiced on myself and my family. My dad bless him asked me if I’d joined a cult. No Dad, I replied simply. I would say my parents were sceptical to begin with. However they do ask me now for Reiki; whether it’s for my dad’s arthritis pain, or recently my mam broke her collar bone and asked for some as she was in pain.
I did my Reiki Level 2 the following year. This was so that I could then become a practitioner. I could start to feel the energy working now. I invited friends round for a Reiki night. I offered everyone 15 minute sessions in exchange for honest feedback. Some felt heat, some felt cold and some didn’t feel anything. That didn’t put me off though because I now knew that even if they didn’t feel anything it had worked. We just have to trust.
I then completed my Reiki teacher training when I was 7 months pregnant with my son. I really wanted other people to be able to learn Reiki and benefit from it. Over the years I have attended various pamper evenings and given Reiki as a taster session, as well as teaching it to several people.
When I mention Reiki most people say, ah yeah I’ve heard of it but not really sure what it is. The best way I can think to describe it is as a treatment that can help your energies to flow through your body. It can be completely hands off if you prefer the therapist not to touch you or hands on/hands off. It is completely up to you. It relaxes the whole body and when your body is relaxed it begins to heal.
It has only been through practice and getting more in tune with my energy and other peoples energy that I started to feel something in my hands. Sometimes I would feel warmth, sometimes cold and sometimes tingling. Sometimes I hear things, sometimes I feel things and sometimes I can see things such as colours whilst giving treatments. All of which are perfectly normal.
Through Reiki I have learnt so many tools and techniques which are really easy and can be used on a daily basis to protect your own energies. One of the best ones I have learnt which I will share with you is called grounding and protecting.
First thing in the morning you stand up or sit on the edge of the bed with your feet firmly planted on the ground. You close your eyes and imagine roots of a tree growing from your feet to the centre of the earth. When they reach the centre, imagine an orange glow growing back up the roots to your feet, up through your legs, up through your stomach and chest, over your shoulders, through your neck and out the very top of your head. Imagine it then falling around you so you are in an orange glow. A bit like the Ready Brek man! You have just centred yourself for the day, placed an orange veil of protection around yourself so your energies are protected from negativity/anger/worry/sadness etc.
I found this extremely beneficial whilst working at a major retailer where I had up to 40 staff. I had been coming home at the end of a day exhausted and not knowing why. Basically my energy was being drained by not only staff but customers as well, who maybe had a complaint or weren’t happy about something, my bosses. You don’t realise how much of an impact other people have on you, but it is huge! This simple exercise can literally take a minute to do in the morning. If you have more time great, if not as long as you have done it, you should start to feel the benefits from it.
Reiki is a journey and one which I have thoroughly enjoyed and look forward to learning more lessons in the future. If you have any question on Reiki or would be interested in learning Reiki yourself please don’t hesitate to get in touch 🙂
Do you ever feel ‘out of sorts’ and can’t quite work out what the problem is? It could be that your chakras are out of alignment. A what? What on earth is a chakra? Why didn’t I learn about these at school? Good question! Chakras are an essential part of us.
I tend to talk about chakras a lot when I discuss crystals, energy and reiki so thought I would explain what they are and what you might need to know.
Chakra is the Sanskrit word for wheel. There are seven of these running through your body. They are centres in which energy flows through. Everybody has them, they aren’t just for those in the know or people who have become spiritually aware. However by becoming aware of your chakras or even just knowing they are there can really help you to become in tune with your body and your emotions. The diagram below shows where the chakras can be found
Each wheel, or chakra, governs a part of your physical body, your emotional body and your spiritual body. In the same way that the body has organs, the chakras are the organs of the energy field around us.
Chakras transmit information from the energy field and represent a ‘blueprint’ of the body, they also hold information of past pain and trauma. These can affect our emotional and physical health.
The best way I can think to describe them is when you see someone spinning plates on a stick in the air. When they are balanced they spin round beautifully. When the person holding them tilts slightly the plates become unbalanced and stop spinning. When energy is flowing freely through the chakras we are well; balanced mentally, emotionally and physically
When our chakras are imbalanced we feel ‘out of sorts’ whether this is emotionally, or physically. I use crystals to rebalance my chakras. It is so simple, it can take as little or as much time as you have.
The names of the seven chakras and the colours associated with them starting at the bottom are:
- The Root Chakra- Red
- The Sacral Chakra – Orange
- The Solar Plexus Chakra-Yellow
- The Heart Chakra- Pink/Green
- The Throat Chakra- Blue
- The Third Eye Chakra- Indigo
- The Crown Chakra- Violet/Clear
So how can it help you to know about your chakras?
The root chakra is red in colour. This chakra is all about security and safety. If you don’t have anywhere to live or feeling unsafe this can throw this chakra out of balance. A red crystal such as red jasper can help bring this into alignment.
The sacral chakra is orange in colour and governs the reproductive organs. If there are imbalances in this chakra you could be suffering from any of the following: Dependency, co-dependency with other people, being ruled by your emotions. The opposite: Feeling numb, out of touch with yourself and how you feel, Overindulgence in fantasies, sexual obsessions or the opposite: Lack of sexual desire or satisfaction, Feeling stuck in a particular feeling or mood. I would use a piece of carnelian and place it on the sacral chakra to help bring this into balance
Another example is stress. I am sure at some point in most people’s lives they have said how stressed they feel. Where do you feel it? Sometimes it’s the shoulders and neck muscles which tense up taking the strain, a nice massage will help work the knots out. But what about your emotions when you are stressed? Which chakras hold stress?
Say you go to work and have a boss who is bullying you. You daren’t say anything to them so you hold your stress inside, most people hold it in their stomach areas. As you hold on to this stress you find you stop eating or start to maybe struggle with your digestion. Which chakra resonates with your stomach? Your solar plexus, THE power house, the main source of all your energy is held in this chakra. By being aware of this means you can be proactive around your stress levels. So you start to feel stressed, what do I need to do to balance my solar plexus chakra? Wear yellow clothes, carry a piece of yellow crystal around with you, such as citrine.
The heart chakra is typically pink in colour but the higher heart chakra is associated with the colour green. The heart chakra is all to do with love. It is to do with not only the relationship with yourself but also your relationship with others. So if you have issues around loving yourself, or loving others this is the chakra that needs attention. It can be brought into balance with a piece of rose quartz, which is a lovely gentle hugging stone. If you need something a bit more malachite is the sledge hammer to the heart chakra and helps break down any issues.
The throat chakra is all about communication. Either you struggle to express your feelings or you express yourself too much! A blue crystal such as lapis lazuli or sodalite can help balance the throat chakra.
Say you start suffering from headaches. Which chakras are closest to your head?
The crown chakra is above your head and your third eye chakra is on your forehead. The colours of these chakras are indigo and violet. Maybe the chakras are out of balance. The easiest way to bring a chakra into balance is to place a crystal of the corresponding colour onto it so a piece of amethyst, purple, and clear quartz/selenite for the crown. There are other ways to balance your chakras and whatever you feels appeals the most to you is the best thing to go with. Reiki can help and yoga. My personal choice is crystals.
This is a basic overview of your chakras. Having an understanding of them can really help you to understand your emotions and how your body is reacting to those. I am not suggesting by any means that by using crystals all of a sudden you are emotionally and physically balanced. Rather that they are an aid to help you achieve this.
I have been using crystals for the last 7 years and continue to do so. As well as using my crystals I try to meditate, do some yoga, and do various activities that I enjoy. I also reiki myself fairly regularly. There isn’t a quick fix for balancing your chakras, as sometimes once you have worked out how to balance one, another one becomes unbalanced. It is a work in progress, but it is definitely something worth knowing.
Disclaimer: Please note that I am not a doctor and obviously if you are in pain you should seek medical attention